I remember my first heart break. It was not as devastating as some others that I have witnessed but it was a heart breaking situation all the same. I didn’t go around telling his friends to help me beg and I didn’t call his phone a million times to inquire where I had gone wrong but I sulked. I talked about him to the only people I could, my sisters. All the time. I cried when I was alone and I deleted his number. Quite useless as the number was in my head. I was dreaming of him, something that never happened before the heart break and I used his name as my password for some apps. Hilarious I know but also sad. Very sad.
Let me explain something. I was a bit more mad than sad. There wasn’t really a relationship at the time so I could not say we broke up. But there were (at least I think so) plans for one and this dude just messed everything up. The way he did it was one of the most annoying things anybody has ever done to me.
So like I said, I sulked for a long time and after about a year, I got over it. I got over it means I stopped sulking not necessarily I stopped wishing I was dating him or that things had worked out between us. We were supposed to be Tiwa and Mide, Banky and Susu, XX and Chioma, yada yada yada, you get the gist. I still don’t really understand what happened but it’s all good now.
I’m here talking about this again because I just spoke to a friend who is heartbroken. Like my case, there was a bit of assumption and a lot of leading on but hers is worse in the sense that dude never ever said anything about a relationship. In my case, we had discussed it a couple of times and had come to some sort of conclusion on the matter.
My baby girl felt there was no way on earth, a guy would treat her the way this dude was treating her and not have an intention albeit undeclared. So she walked around like Mama Yard of his dynasty, like The Girlfriend. But uncle had never so much as asked her what she thought about a relationship with him.
Boom! The shock and anger when the real Mama Yard surfaced. Baby girl didn’t know what to do.According to her, she kept waiting for him to say that the other girl was a cousin but his mother would not stop calling her (the other lady) ‘our wife ‘. For a whole week, no church, no work, she wouldn’t leave the house and when I finally got to talk to her on the phone, she was in tears.
Dear men, don’t be jerks. Don’t lead ladies on, I mean, it is so mean. If you feel she is beginning to attach and you don’t want it, please do tell her. There is someone else, tell her. If you have to talk to an imaginary ‘sweetheart’ on the phone just so that she backs off, please do it.
Baby girls, what on earth are you doing, assuming something when the man has said nothing? What are you doing? Stop it! Like, right now! When the real Mama Yard will show up now, you will be wailing up and down like someone took your ice-cream. Get your act together! Wait for him to talk. If he is not talking, you have two options. Ask him or take it as nothing. The latter is more my style as I would be too shy to ask a guy any question.
A word is enough for the wise.